HOW PERSONAL CAN DREAMS BE? (3)
I always emphasize that one should have a dream to succeed in learning a foreign language or achieving a goal.
For example, you are learning a foreign language; so you should have a vision about it. You should envision yourself understanding or speaking the language correctly and fluently in a meeting or at an occasion. Also, you can just imagine yourself enjoying the language itself. The main thing is that you should see yourself somewhere, doing something with the language. The vision you have can be linked to the language indirectly or directly. The bottom line is that you should a vision, a motion picture on your mind.
Recently, to refresh my memory and my vision, I have asked to myself: “What is your dream related to your work and endless effort? I can see that I have many dreams. But one of them sounds remarkably interesting and exciting: To be able to go somewhere whenever I feel like doing so. The destination may be somewhere in Turkiye-my homeland or abroad. For Example, in Doğu Beyazıt, Edirne, Sarajevo, Moscow, Beijing, Arabian Deserts or Turkic Republics can be my destinations.
Have I never done such a thing? Yes I have. I enjoyed many cities in Turkiye and abroad; Shanghai, Paris, Brussel and so on. I am thankful for that. However, I have not done it by saying “I’ll have sone tea-coffe in Paris, Malaysia or China. I have visited many countries and cities. But the trips all have been on business to do translating for businessmen.
Then I shared this vision with a friend of mine and he said that this sounded very selfish! I said “OK listen to the rest!” and I told him the whole thing:
For me to go to another city and have some coffee is not a matter of a return ticket and some money. It requires lots of preparation. Yes I want to go to a city, read, write poetry or meet friends and this picture looks very self-oriented. But it requires very hard work and infrastructure related to my family and beloved ones. Just return tickets and some cash to spend there is the not the key. There is the other side of the medal and it looks like this:
To enable myself to go to another city freely depends on their happiness and being happy with me. So I must take them abroad, meet their expectations and help them to make their dreams come true. While I sit in a café and write, read or meet friends, I must know that my family and beloved ones are happy and they miss me. I must know that they do not envy me or are not angry with me. As a son, a brother, a father or a husband, they must be happy with me and believe that what I do is something I deserve. Otherwise, leaving people in anger and jealousy, I cannot enjoy anything personal. Neither reading a nice book nor having a nice cup of tea will make happy and relaxed.
To sum up, my innocent dream cannot depend on a return ticket and some cash. I am already able to do this. Sometimes the basement is more expensive than the building itself. My story is the same.
After I told the whole thing to my friend, he said: “You are right! Your dream is not a self-oriented one!”
I am not the age of leaving people unhappy and jealous behind and just chasing after my dreams, which I never complain about. I just want to see happy faces and embracing people on my return.
By the way, I always write about reading and writing. Nowadays, I have a lot of students and friend in many cities. I would like to meet them and talk the old days. It would be fun!
I expect too much? Do not be afraid: I expect from God, not from you!
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OUR PERCEPTION MAY BE MISLEADING US! (2)
Once, I and a friend of mine went to a seminar. The keynot speaker was a businessman who was very successful in his sector and had loyalties which formed a regular income and freed him to control his life. He was able to control most of his life because he had plenty of time in a day. He was not only was financially independent, but also had a lot of free time to spend on his own projects and to focus on his relationships.
The speaker had a slideshow that included photos from his life. When the seminar was over I and my friend left the room and that surprising comment came from my friend: “The whole seminar was about money!”
When I heard this comment, I felt very surprised. Because the seminarian had not mainly focused on the amount of the money he earned. Actually the most amazing thing to me about the seminar was that the speaker could spend a lot of quality time with his family. So his relationships were very fruitful and enjoyable. But this thing is not only a result of the amount of the money he earned, but a result of the income that comes as “loyalties.” In addition, the speaker had mainly focused on what advantages the way the money came to offered and the vast amount of time he could spend with his family and for his own.
Also due to the success the seminarian had, he was invited to various countries to give speeches, which meant nice holidays he could go on with his family. He could accept these invitations because he did not go to work every day. He did not sell “time” for a living.
But my friend had not noticed all of these important results. It gave me the idea that human perception may be very misleading. Actually, the person who emphasized the value of the concept-money was not the speaker, but was my friend. He had not paid attention to the whole thing and he had read what he had on his own mind: Money.
I had such an experience while I worked at the university: One day the students who visited me in my office were more than usual and the number of the female visitors and male visitors were nearly the same. One of the young teachers teasingly said: “You are very popular with female students! What is happening here?” He thought he was just kidding and I replied him: “Do not ask this question to me. Ask it to your perception. I am not popular with female students, but your perception is occupied with them, I believe. I had many male visitors today and you did not even notice them! What is happening there?” and I smiled. The response was a speechless expression on his face. Then I went to my desk and abandoned myself to my daily tasks.
Due to the fact that I often saw the people who are deceived by their own perception-mind, I started to regard my mind and perception as some parts apart from myself. I often ask the question “is my mind deceiving me, too?” For example, your perception can whisper to you that a person is greedy and so he is too careful about spending money. But actually he may be saving money to support a charity.
For example a friend of yours tells you that he can drive his family to country or somewhere else and he enjoys it, your perception may whisper to you that your friend is bragging about his car. Actually maybe your friend’s car is too old to brag about and he honestly enjoys spending time with his family and sharing this valuable thing with you.
When we see a rope from a distance, our perception whispers that it is a snake. Actually our perception is trying to protect us from a possible danger. But we should check if it is really a snake. To run away immediately is not the solution. However, many people run away immediately when their mind defines a rope to them as a snake. It sometimes sounds very funny to me!
Do you think I make a mistake by regarding my mind and perception as apart from myself and checking if what they whisper to me is true?
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HOW COME I CAN VISIT VARIOUS COUNTRIES? (1)
I often face the question: “How can you go abroad so often and see various countries?” I am often asked this by people I meet on various occasions. They think I am rich. I reply them and say: “You can do it, too.” Their reaction is a smile that implies a poor state of mind. They do not believe that one day they can go abroad and see so many countries.
If a person feels that they have other priorities and as a result of these priorities, they delay going abroad or give up the idea, I have respect for them. People may not be able to achieve everything they want to. I can understand that.
However, if they murmur and say “I cannot do it or cannot afford it, I have to be rich first”, then, I find this attitude rather childish. You don’t have to make so much money to go abroad. However, why think that you cannot make such money that enables you to go abroad? Why not? Everyday, a lot of people achieve their dreams, no matter who they are- why not you?
If you go on living with some people that dictate you that you cannot have your dreams like going abroad, getting familiar with other cultures and countries etc. and if you choose to live that way, it is your “home-made” problem. If you often say and things like “It is difficult for me, I will not be granted to have this thing!” Then it is a kind of speaking for god. Do not make God your partner in your poor attitude and thinking. Do your best, ask from God, and then see what will happen next!
How come I can go abroad? I have studied foreign languages for years and read a lot on human relations. I have tried to know about people and I have never given up. I made mistakes again and again. I have tried to find out about personalities. I have spent time with such people with whom not everyone can spend time. They are leaders who have great expectations and work hard. I have tried to understand their languages and expectations because I want to be one. I am not only a translator, but also a comrade. I travel with them and attend meetings with them. Therefore, I have to understand them and react to them properly.
I openly let them know how I can assist them and there are things I cannot do for them. It is not very wise to be indirect with such people. If you are not open with them, you will lose them. They may accept your qualifications or not. In either case, to be open is rewarding. Even if they are not your partner, they will have a supportive and helpful attitude towards you. If you cooperate, both parties will be untroubled and your partnership in business transforms into a friendship.I have often told that I wanted to go abroad and to see other countries. I have never been ashamed of my dreams or felt guilty or crazy. I have never avoided sharing this dream-goal with others. People have known that I want to go abroad and to see other countries. Finally, people told me about job opportunities related to going abroad.
Briefly, it has never been a matter of money. It has been a matter of setting goals and hard-work.
By the way, I build my own business. My business depends on team work and understanding others’ dreams and expectations. I will go abroad for myself and my business soon. I will travel with my family. I ask for them openly from God, not from people. Why hesitate? However, I ask people to get involved in team works where both sides can win. I don’t hesitate to do it. God sends us his help and assistance through people, doesn’t he?
You can travel, too. It is very enjoyable as well. When you come back to your homeland, you will have changed a lot and seen a lot of places, whereas others seem to have lived in the same way. However, you may feel that you belong to a certain place. Your desire to learn foreign languages and to find out about your own culture is more lively.
The way you handle things and people changes. For example, if you have gone foreign countries without your family, you probably missed them very much and you become aware of their value.
Let me give you an assignment.-I am a teacher. Find a world map and hang it on the wall of your room or office. And mark the countries you wish to visit. Then, set the goals that will take you to the final dream of yours. You ask from God for it! Who can stop you if you are destined by God to reach your goals?
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